What does being paper pregnant feel like?

While at times during our "Kayla chase" I have been slightly....okay, make that extremely...emotional, at this point it is more like an out of body experience. I definitely still think about her more than I don't. But it's as if WaitingMommy and WorkingWoman are two very different people sharing the same brain. The wait goes on and life goes on. Very excited to be closer and very numb that we are still so far away.

My mom always had a saying when I was whining for something I wanted as a kid whether it was a toy, wanting to wear makeup to school, or to buy a cool car. "Your wants won't ever hurt you." I still hear that in my head sometimes replaying like a broken record. (Yeah, mom- you managed to stay stuck in my head after all these years...and YOU thought I wasn't listening). Maybe it's not as clever as Dr. Phil's quotes, but you get the point. It was a nicer way of teaching me the lesson "get over it, life's not fair, and we're not loaded."

Sometimes while I'm sitting in traffic, sipping my grande Mocha, I look over and see kids watching a DVD in the mini van next to me...and I think, someday I want to be able to look into the rearview mirror of my car, see my kids' chubby little faces and hear their whine, "why can't we have a DVD player in our car, Mom? We really want one."

I'll be able to smile and say...your wants won't ever hurt you...now quit punching your sister.