Bring it on 2007

Let's start the New Year with a smile.

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament. Shortly, he received this reply,"For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the Money!" At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."

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It's strange to think that last year about this time we were so excited-- to have a log in date, to be officially in line, to get to be parents in six to eight months. Finally the end was in sight after so many years of trying, waiting, and praying for our chance to be a family instead of a couple. Sigh.

This will be the year. And for that reason, I'm coming out of my New Year's hiatus and making some resolutions.

#5
Listen to volumes 2 through 10 of the Pimsular "Learn Mandarin CD set"-- I've been stuck on vol. 1 for six months.

#4
Start my own packing list instead of just reading other folks online. (Anyone know of a professional packer I can just hire?...no?...fine, I'll keep this one in then.)

#3
Quit taking l-o-n-g Sunday afternoon naps after teaching 3 yr olds for an hour at church so I can start getting a feel for the real thing.

#2
Exercise more so I can climb the Great Wall of China without getting winded and sore.

#1
Be glad that I have had the opportunity to learn just how lucky I am to get to be a parent.

Merry Christmas!

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. Whoever puts his trust in God's Son will not be lost but will have life that lasts forever. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to say it is guilty. He sent His Son so the world might be saved from the punishment of sin by Him. 18 Whoever puts his trust in His Son is not guilty. Whoever does not put his trust in Him is guilty already. It is because he does not put his trust in the name of the only Son of God.

John 3:16 - 18 (New Life Version)

Finally! Some holiday Cheer around here...

Merry Christmas!!!

HO HO HO!!!

Click here to see Happy Grandpa Ricky Elf cut loose.

Oh boy, am I going to get in trouble for this! Don't blame me for finally cracking a holiday smile. Check out Kristen's blog to see my elfin' inspiration.

What does being paper pregnant feel like?

While at times during our "Kayla chase" I have been slightly....okay, make that extremely...emotional, at this point it is more like an out of body experience. I definitely still think about her more than I don't. But it's as if WaitingMommy and WorkingWoman are two very different people sharing the same brain. The wait goes on and life goes on. Very excited to be closer and very numb that we are still so far away.

My mom always had a saying when I was whining for something I wanted as a kid whether it was a toy, wanting to wear makeup to school, or to buy a cool car. "Your wants won't ever hurt you." I still hear that in my head sometimes replaying like a broken record. (Yeah, mom- you managed to stay stuck in my head after all these years...and YOU thought I wasn't listening). Maybe it's not as clever as Dr. Phil's quotes, but you get the point. It was a nicer way of teaching me the lesson "get over it, life's not fair, and we're not loaded."

Sometimes while I'm sitting in traffic, sipping my grande Mocha, I look over and see kids watching a DVD in the mini van next to me...and I think, someday I want to be able to look into the rearview mirror of my car, see my kids' chubby little faces and hear their whine, "why can't we have a DVD player in our car, Mom? We really want one."

I'll be able to smile and say...your wants won't ever hurt you...now quit punching your sister.

Some of the stuff I worry about...

Normally, I'm not really a worry-wort. But, with the extended wait...believe me, I have learned to worry. Along with the, 'will this ever happen for us worry?', at the top of the things to worry about list is 'what kind of mom will I be?'. Sometimes I flop down on the couch after a long day at the office, a fast food dinner, and a glass of wine and think....hmmmm, won't be this easy to relax in just a few more months. Then, I begin to worry. First it starts with...where will I find the energy? And, after several worry mutations it usually ends with...'what if she doesn't bond with me or me with her'? What if we end up living life as virtual strangers that share only a roof and fast food?

Of course, in my heart, I believe it will all work out or I would have been out of here long ago. She'll bond with us. We'll wonder how we ever lived our bland before Kayla lives. But for now, I worry. I guess all new moms-to-be go through this. I've just had a little longer to develop a full blown soap opera in my imaginary world that often ends less than happily-ever-after in my mind.

In the spirit of hope for the best, prepare for the worst, here's a good article Donna at our FCC chapter forwarded to the group about post-adoption depression. After this long, long wait... I sure hope it doesn't strike.

But, I can't help but worry....